Celebrating Failure

Up until recently I would avoid things that I had a high probability of failing at.  I would dismiss opportunities that had less than an almost guaranteed outcome of success.  I had played it safe for so long, and, had been fairly fortunate things had come out as well as they had.  I realized they could be better though.  Recently, however, I have decided to try to change that.  I have tried to increase my calculated risk taking behavior.  I am not speaking about damaging risk taking behavior, more the "step out of your comfort zone" risk taking behavior.  This semester I have been starting conversations with almost anyone that will let me.  I was not introverted in the first place, but, if conversation seemed like it may be the least bit uncomfortable I would bail immediately.

So here is where I felt as though I was failing.  I would start a conversation with a stranger and realized that I was limiting my conversations to things I knew about or small talk.  This leaves a random stranger without things to say.  So a lot of awkward silences, stares, and "get away from me weirdo" looks.  I was so frustrated with how this was going.  I was so sure I could do this.

Than I saw a picture of a guy at one of the California state universities.  He had a table set up in a heavily trafficked space on campus with a sign that said "I will talk to you about anything you want". I thought to myself "How is he doing that?  I bet there are subjects he knows nothing about".  Than after a little thought it dawned on me, and I felt really dumb. The answer is so easy.  He asks questions.  So easy to talk to someone when they ask questions about them.

Now I almost always skip the small talk and ask a question.  And let me tell you I am learning a lot about people.  The other day I asked a barista "how much do you like making coffee?".  I barely said four sentences during our conversation and by the end I knew a lot of hopes and dreams of hers that many of her friends may not know.  This socialization has become one of the most powerful ways of obtaining information that I have.  I cringe when I think that I almost gave up on it.